Observing Communication

I work in a childcare facility, so I get an opportunity to see adults conversing with children on a daily basis. Earlier this week, I took an opportunity to come in early to sit in the back of the class next to me to observe how the children interact with their parents during drop off time in the morning. I observed a little boy come in with his mom and sister. The mother always brings breakfast and sets up the breakfast in the morning. The mom always gives choices to the child as to what he would like as his fruit, if he can pour the milk into his cereal, where to sit, and how he wants to say goodbye. The boy is 2.5 years of age, and is very “independent” so he wants to do everything, as well as since he is the youngest, he always wants the affection and attention his mother gives. When the mom was done with breakfast, she gave him a kiss and was about to take his sister to her classroom. The little boy was not happy about that, and he cried and screamed, and the mom was trying to calm him down, and that wasn’t working. The mom was saying that he needed to dry it up and stop acting like a baby or she was going to take him to the bathroom. I can only imagine what that meant, but the boy still was upset, so the teacher took him away from the mom to try to make it an easier transition and the mom left. A few minutes later, the mom peaked into the window to check on him, and the boy was fine.

The mom seemed a little distracted that morning, so I feel that the child could pick up on the mood of his mother because it was not the same as it normally was. Also, even though she gave him choices, she seemed rushed in her attempts to give him choices that morning, so this could have also made the child feel as if the mom was not listening to him or making him feel comfortable as she normally does. One thing I feel is important and necessary when talking and conversing with children is the art of listening to them; the way they talk as well as body language. In the article Conversations With a 2 Year Old, Researcher Alison Stephenson, “This experience taught me lessons in how much children are telling us, if only we can hear them. In particular it taught me about the art of “stepping back”  (Stephenson, 2009, pg. 90) Children can tell us so much, but we can miss it if we do not pay close attention to the clues they give us when communicating with them. The mom should have stepped back and re-adjusted her tone and mood. This could have changed how the child reacted to her. Also, telling him in front of others that she will ‘take him to the bathroom’ is also ineffective in my opinion, especially in a school setting. I feel that the mom could have told him to calm down, or offer for him to go on a walk to take his sister to her class, but in order for her to do that, he had to calm down, no tears, and he could go with her. He probably would have liked that because it gave him a choice, which he is used to getting, and it would have kept him calm.

The interactions with his mother that morning did affect him throughout the day. I know this to be true because he is a student in my classroom, and his mood was altered all day. The interactions made him feel like he was not being listened to, as well as made him cranky throughout the day. How adults interact with children plays such a huge role in how they feel not just about themselves, but how they feel about others in similar social situations. Children need to feel just as valued and that you are acknowledging their feelings, wants, emotions, and needs. I try to respect all of the children I come into contact with, and also give them boundaries. I always can improve my communication skills by continuing to find different ways in effective communication, as well as not allowing my mood to not affect the children I teach. I am guilty of having a day where I am not 100 percent, and I notice how the children can react when I am not at my best, so making sure to be calm and respectful goes a long way when talking and dealing with children.

Reference:

Stephenson, A. (2009). Conversations with a 2-year-old. YC: Young Children, 64(2), 90-95. Retrieved from the Walden Library using the Education Research Complete database. http://ezp.waldenulibrary.org/login?url=http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=ehh&AN=37131016&site=ehost-live&scope=site